Why I hate the FISH

If I admit to someone that I enjoy rap and hip hop, I get a funny look.
So I must explain how I've been driven to gangsta rap and associated booty-shakin genres.

The FISH made me do it.

This FISH I'm referring to is quite possibly the worst Christian music station known to mankind, and it serves as the voice to the 10 million people in the LA area.

First off, I can't take seriously a station that calls itself FISH, for two reasons: a) EEW. and b) cheesy. This station distributes neon fish-shaped bumper stickers to listeners so the DJs can spot them around and award them with chintzy prizes.

Second off, the playlist is an abomination. If the station runs through their list of ten or so shallow, "pop Christian" songs, 60% of which use "la-la" "na-na" or "sha-na-na" as their predominant lyrics, they don't just give up. They pull out other songs, presumably on the assumption that we can't tell the difference between a sappy wedding song and a worship song.

Some recent examples of FISH plays:
1. God Bless the Broken Road by Rascall Flatts (logic: any song with the word "God" in the title must be "inspirational" and thus must be "Christian" and thus must be "worship.")
2. Hanging by a Moment by Lifehouse (logic: any band with the word "life" in the name must be "inspirational" and thus must be "Christian" and thus must be "worship.")
3. You and Me by Lifehouse (logic: I would say see above. But there really is no logic here.)

Third, the FISH recently had a contest in which listeners could win tickets and backstage passes to a MercyMe concert. To advertise this band, which writes songs like "I could only imagine," the FISH held a contest searching for the biggest MercyMe fan. Basically, whoever made the most noise and obsessed about this worship group the most could win autographed hats, t-shirts and coffee mugs...not to mention a backstage pass so they could go shake the hands of the MercyMe guys!!!! Umm, who's worshipping who?

And fourth, the FISH's tagline is an embarassment to Christians. DJs never mention the name of Christ, but rather brag, in a techno-distorted recording, that KFSH is "SAFE FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY!!"

This might be extreme. But I'm convinced that if the anti-Christ were to come down right now, he'd do it through the FISH. He'd do it by reducing the all-encompassing and awe-inspiring God to the mere distinction of being "safe for the whole family."

So if you drive with me anytime soon, and the reggaeton, rap or hip hop is playing in lieu of the FISH, it just might because the lukewarmness of this station is just gross.