Drop it like it's hot

My earnest hope is that this entry doesn't devolve into a rambling pity party on how busy I am. Because in reality, who ISN'T crazy busy? I'm just joining the bandwagon.

But without excessive rambling, I'll share my current dilemma. I'm trying to decide whether I should drop one of my classes, since I'm running at 18 units with (possibly) an entire internship (which in itself could be taken for 3 units) and my "full time" job at the Chimes. Plus there are the incidentals of Eaglevision that come with one of those classes, the reading load of Torrey and a 3-hour-per week ministry requirement for another of those classes.

So I went to my elective Torrey class today (a Friday, mind you) with the intention of checking it out, disliking it and dropping out. The problem is, I knew from the beginning that it wouldn't be an easy drop. You see, this class is called "Theology of Evangelism" and I just find it very unlikely that God would NOT want me to learn more about evangelism and NOT put it into practical use, especially since this is an area which challenges me more than probably anything in my Christian walk.

Besides, who drops a class on evangelism? It's just taboo. It's like someone putting on a worship CD and you yelling, "UGH! I hate this song! Put on some Panic at the Disco!" You just don't DO that. There's just this invisible barrier of the sacred that you JUST don't cross.

So, I end up going to that class today and -- surprise -- I absolutely love it. We read modern and older theories of evangelism, discuss them and put them into practice for at least three hours per week. For about half the books we read, our class discussion will be led by the actual author. Everyone in the group is older than me, but they're really cool people. It's one of those things that just FEELS right, even though I had to wake up at 5 in the morning for a 5-hour reading sesh to finish the week's text.

I can't drop it. My social life for this semester just got euthanized. But oh my gosh, this is just amazing.

Here's what I've been thinking about this week: our tutor in yesterday's session brought up this quote by Karl Barth --

Perfect love is "love that allows its object to be ever and only just what it is."

But Adolph Saphir, which we discussed today, had a different POV.

"As is the idea of God so will be the conception of love. Can we call that love, which can tolerate evil -‑evil, which is the opposite of love, and destruction of it? Can love be indifferent to the true blessedness of its object, or can love be satisfied without response and return? The love which the world attributes to God is unworthy of the name. According to this view, God remains unknown and unloved, and instead of holiness, power, truth, grace, harmoniously blended, bringing the beloved object into an atmosphere of peace, and communion, and conformity with God, there is but a feeble indulgence and pity, which overlooks sin, and leaves man in his wretched condition, without the assurance of divine favor, and without a renewal of his heart."

So what is God's love like? Is it Barth's love, which looks at evil human beings and in that moment loves us ever, completely "as is"? Or is it Saphir's, which demands some sort of reciprocation by virtue of what it is?

Ponder, ponder...