10 Better Ways to Say it Than "I'm Unemployed" (PART 2)

In continuation of my previous post on fielding pesky, irrelevant inquiries about your non-existent employment:

6. "I'm a homeschooler": Homeschooling is so out it's in right now. Many savants just like yourself opt out of traditional public education so they can devote time to advanced pursuits, like Latin, the harpsichord or the polo team. When fielding inquiries, it may or may not be beneficial to assume a British accent and an aloof demeanor or mutter a Shakespearian couplet or two.

7. "I'm an independent contractor": If you're hanging around waiting for someone to call YOU and enlist your services, you may already be an independent contractor. If people ask you why you haven't been working, a variety of responses will suffice: it's the off-season, I just got off a major contract, I'm in negotiations with the government, etc. When in doubt, mumble.

8. "I'm working pro bono": Shush! You're not volunteering because you couldn't find anyone to pay you. You're deigning to the level of the less fortunate, using your lofty skill set to enrich the lives of others and advance the banner of justice. Pay? Psh. This one's on you.

9. "I'm a homemaker": In this postmodern world we live in, there's no need to have given live birth to call oneself a homemaker. If you're at home, and you're [barely] makin' it, you are technically a homemaker.

10. "I'm freelancing": Unemployment did not pounce on you like a menace. Rather, you chose to rid yourself the chains of an obligation that was clearly beneath you. A maverick, you relish your freedom and scoff at contracts and stability, and if someone wants one of your creative masterpieces, they're going to have to get down on their knees and beg you for it with the big bucks.